Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
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