i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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