I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Your penis caused this!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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