I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize