that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
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