ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
