Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
