I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
