I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize