I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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