I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
