I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
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