exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i think i have herpe
just one?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize