You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
