There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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