the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
