Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Sorry about my life...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
