She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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