she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
