That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
