There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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