Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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