the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize