I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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