do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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