yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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