Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
