Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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