As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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