I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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