Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
