I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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