I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
