apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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