We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
