I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
