What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
