doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
