Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
you never un-have a 4some
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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