first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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