Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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