Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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