then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
