Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
