i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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