so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I need to stop coming to work sober
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
