Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
