you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize