you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
