There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
God, I missed his penis.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
