East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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