hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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