there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
