can u get pink eye on your cock?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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