Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
