If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
