she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize